Feelings
by Melissa Larkin
Summary: A Carter and Lucy story :)
1. Feelings, Part 1

Feelings  
  
Lucy Knight laid on the mat while the physical therapist stretched her legs. Of course, she had no feeling in them. She hadn't felt anything below her waist since Valentine's Day, the same day she and her friend John Carter had been stabbed by psychiatric patient Paul Sobriki. Carter had been lucky, Lucy thought to herself. He got stabbed and can walk. I'm going to spend the rest of my life in this damn wheelchair.  
  
Lucy's life had drastically changed since the night of the stabbing. Her family lived far away, in Ohio, and she didn't want to leave Chicago, so Carter had invited Lucy to live with his family. She had gratefully accepted, and she and Carter had become closer friends. They had both survived one very hellish night, and it made them both stronger in some ways. Lucy looked over at her wheelchair. And weaker in other ways, she thought sadly to herself. She hated that wheelchair. Hated wasn't even strong enough. She loathed it, she abhorred it. But it had been a couple of months since the stabbing and she had yet to feel anything below her waist. I'm going to be stuck in that horrible chair forever, Lucy thought, fighting the tears that came to her eyes.  
  
Carter entered the physical therapy room to see how Lucy's therapy was progressing. It was the end of her session now, and Carter usually stopped by if he could to see how Lucy was doing. He cared about her a great deal, but she had been very distant lately. Carter knew exactly how she felt. There were times that he wanted to crawl into bed and pull the covers over his head and tune out the rest of the world, but there was one person who stopped him from doing that: Lucy. He knew that she needed him, as well as all of her friends from County, now more than ever.  
  
"How did it go today, Luce?" Carter asked kindly. Lucy looked up at Carter, then away, and closed her eyes. "I know, it's tough. But just be patient. I know you'll get the feeling back in your legs soon." Lucy felt even more discouraged after hearing that, since she hadn't felt anything in two months. She climbed back into the wheelchair with the help of the physical therapist and ignored Carter.  
  
"Spare me the pep talk, Carter. Take the cheerleading routine somewhere else." Lucy wheeled past Carter and into the hallway. Carter ran to catch up with her.  
  
"Lucy, wait!" Lucy wheeled over to the elevator and hit a button, then looked at Carter.  
  
"I want to go home. Now." Carter saw that Lucy was fighting tears, and went to ask the hospital van driver to take them both home.  
  
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Lucy sat outside in the garden of the Carter home that night. It was a beautiful spring night, and sometimes coming out here was the only thing that put a smile on her face. Lucy wheeled over to the flower bed. Soon, they would be filled with her favorite flowers, tulips. Lucy smiled, thinking that she would be able to see the beautiful garden from her bedroom window. The entire Carter family had been wonderful to her, and she thought of a way to show them how much they meant to her.  
  
Carter emerged from the kitchen, carrying two glasses of iced tea. He set them down on the table and Lucy wheeled her chair over to sit with him.  
  
"I thought you might like something to drink," Carter said. Lucy smiled sheepishly at him.  
  
"I'm sorry about how I acted before," she said. Carter took off his jacket and put it around Lucy's shoulders and smiled.  
  
"It's all right. We both have bad days." He raised his glass. "To good days. I think we'll both have a lot of them. We deserve it."  
  
Lucy raised her glass and clinked it with Carter's. "To good days," she repeated. Lucy sipped her iced tea and her eyes wandered around the garden. "I want to walk through there." Carter took her hand and looked into her eyes.  
  
"You will, someday," he said gently. Lucy shook her head, more frustrated than she had ever been.  
  
"Forget someday. I want it to be now," she said, and pushed herself up from the chair. She had no feeling in her legs and nearly stumbled to the ground, but Carter quickly caught her.  
  
"Lucy, are you insane? You could've hurt yourself!" Carter helped Lucy back into her wheelchair and she burst into tears.  
  
"I'll never get out of this damn wheelchair," she said, and Carter wiped her eyes.  
  
"Yes, you will. I believe that you will, Luce. Just don't give up. Please," he said, then added, "For me, okay?" Lucy laughed through her tears as she looked at Carter. There was something about Carter that endeared him to Lucy. She shook her head.  
  
"I won't," she said. "Just promise me that you'll keep seeing your counselor." Lucy extended her hand. "Deal?"  
  
"Deal," Carter replied, and they shook hands.  
  
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The next day, Carter stopped by the physical therapy room to see how Lucy was advancing in her effort to walk again. He peeked into the room and saw Lucy enthusiastically working with her therapist. Happy with what he saw, Carter walked off.  
  
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That night, Carter and Lucy returned home together. Carter was thrilled with the change in Lucy's personality. She was happy and upbeat, and had been in a very positive mood since the night before.  
  
"What do you want to do?" Carter asked. "We could watch TV. Thursday's a good night, there's a great show on at ten." Lucy shook her head.  
  
"Actually, I was hoping we could spend some time outside," Lucy said. "I've been cooped up in the hospital all day."  
  
"No problem," Carter said. "Allow me." He wheeled Lucy outside to the garden. Carter and Lucy sat and looked up at the stars. Carter glanced at Lucy. "Are you cold?" he asked.  
  
"No, I'm okay," Lucy replied. She smiled at Carter, who reached behind his chair and picked a small flower from the bed behind him. He handed it to Lucy and she smiled. "Thanks."  
  
"You're welcome," Carter said. He took Lucy's hand and looked into her eyes. "Lucy, I never told you this, but you were the one who kept me going after the stabbing. If it weren't for you, I don't know if I could've survived living anymore." Lucy reached over and hugged Carter.  
  
"I don't ever want to lose you," she said. Lucy and Carter parted from the hug and looked into each other's eyes. Lucy stroked Carter's face and backs away. "Forget it, Carter. You don't want me."  
  
"Why not?" Carter asked, bewildered by her statement. "Lucy, you're a beautiful woman. I'd give anything to be with you."  
  
"What if I can't walk again?" Lucy asked softly. "You deserve a complete woman." Carter looked at Lucy and stroked her face.  
  
"I love you, Lucy," he said. "I know you will walk again. I believe in you." Lucy believed what Carter said and smiled.  
  
"I love you, too," she replied. "Thank you for believing in me."   
  
"I always will, my love," Carter said, and leaned in. He and Lucy shared a kiss. "Come here." Carter picked Lucy up out of her wheelchair and carried her over to a nearby lounge chair. They sat together, their arms around each other, talking, kissing, and falling more in love with each other.  
  
****The End**** 


	2. Feelings, Part 2

Feelings, Part 2  
  
The moonlight beamed through the windows of Lucy Knight's bedroom, but she and John Carter were only gazing at each other. In the few weeks since they'd admitted their love for one another, Lucy and Carter had been inseparable. They laid on Lucy's bed, kissing passionately. Carter began to kiss Lucy's neck and she ran her fingers through his dark hair. Carter started to unbutton Lucy's shirt when she pushed him away.  
  
"I'm sorry," Carter said. "I didn't mean to rush you." Lucy quickly buttoned her shirt and turned away from Carter.  
  
"You didn't," Lucy said softly. Carter put his arms around Lucy and kissed her cheek.  
  
"Yes, I did. We've only been together a few weeks. I'm sorry if you felt like I was pressuring you." Lucy smiled at Carter and kissed him gently.  
  
"I love you, John Carter," she said. Carter leaned in and kissed Lucy.  
  
"And I love you, Lucy Knight." Carter wrapped a blanket around Lucy and picked up the television remote that sat on her night stand. "Let's see what's on TV, okay?"  
  
"Sounds good to me," Lucy answered, and snuggled up close to Carter. They began to watch an old romantic movie and fell asleep in each other's arms.  
  
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The next day, Lucy and her good friend, Dr. Elizabeth Corday, were having lunch in the hospital of County Hospital. Elizabeth had been a vital source in saving Lucy's life on the night of the stabbing. Lucy credited her friend with being her guardian angel, and since the stabbing, the two had become very close. Lucy often confided in Elizabeth when she needed someone to talk to, and today was one of those days.  
  
"I'm glad to hear that your physical therapy is going well," Elizabeth said, her British accent visible with every syllable. Lucy sipped her tea and smiled.  
  
"Elizabeth, I have great news. Yesterday, I swore I felt something in my legs. I don't know, maybe I just imagined it. But I would love to think that it really happened!" Elizabeth grabbed Lucy's hand and grinned.  
  
"Lucy, sweetheart, that's wonderful! I'm thrilled!" Elizabeth reached over and hugged her friend. "I've been praying that you would regain the feeling in your legs. Maybe my prayers have been answered."  
  
"I hope they have been," Lucy said softly. She looked around the cafeteria to make sure that nobody could hear her and leaned in to whisper to Elizabeth. "I'm worried about something though."  
  
"What is it?" Elizabeth asked, concerned.  
  
"What if I...um...can't be, you know...intimate with John?" Lucy looked down at the table, then up at Elizabeth. "What if I can't ever make love with him?"  
  
"Lucy, you said you thought you felt something in your legs. That's a good sign that your recovery is progressing." Lucy shook her head, fighting back tears.  
  
"Elizabeth, I've always wanted to find a guy like John. He's so sweet and caring and romantic. What if I can't be intimate with him? He'll leave." Elizabeth looked directly at Lucy.  
  
"Then, Lucy, he is not the man for you. You want someone who will love you unconditionally. But I know that John Carter loves you that way." Lucy smiled.  
  
"Really?" Elizabeth laughed softly.  
  
"Lucy, even before that dreadful night, everyone in the ER commented on how you and John always seemed to be looking at each other, or just spending a great deal of time together. We all knew it would be sooner or later before you'd fall in love. I'm just sorry that it took what happened to you both to bring you closer." Lucy nodded.  
  
"So am I," she admitted. "I think about that night all the time."  
  
"After Kerry found you and Carter in the exam room, and we were all working so hard to save you, it became apparent to us how much Carter cared for you," Elizabeth said. "He was constantly asking if you were all right. He told us not to worry about him." Lucy frowned.  
  
"What? The guy is practically bleeding to death and he's worried about ME?" Elizabeth nodded and smiled.  
  
"Yes, and if that's not true love, I don't know what else is," she replied. Lucy looked at her wheelchair and then at Elizabeth.  
  
"I'm getting out of this chair," she said. "Maybe not today, but soon." Elizabeth hugged Lucy again.  
  
"I know you'll do it," she told her friend. "I have faith in you."  
  
"Thank you so much," Lucy replied. "For everything. You've been such a wonderful friend to me." Lucy looked at her watch. "I have to go. It's time for physical therapy."  
  
"I'll walk you over," Elizabeth said, and Lucy laughed.  
  
"I'll race you," she said, and the two friends left the cafeteria.  
  
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Lucy waited for Carter a few weeks later. He entered her bedroom and was happily surprised to see a romantic dinner on the terrace of Lucy's room. He walked over to Lucy, who was in the wheelchair, and kissed her.  
  
"What's this for?" he asked. Lucy grinned.  
  
"Just a little surprise for the man I love," she replied. "And I have another one." Before Carter could ask what it was, Lucy stood up in her wheelchair and took two steps towards him. "I've got the feelings back in my legs and I can walk again. John, I can WALK!" Carter, thrilled at seeing Lucy recovered, hugged and kissed her.  
  
"Sweetheart, this is amazing! I can't believe it!" Carter sat down in a chair, with Lucy in his lap. "Does it hurt?"  
  
"No," Lucy said. "Sweetie, it's still going to take a lot of physical therapy. But the important thing is that I can walk again." Lucy leaned in and kissed Carter again. "And I can do something else too." Carter raised his eyebrow and smiled seductively at his girlfriend.  
  
"Is it what I think you're talking about?" Lucy smiled widely.  
  
"Yes, it is," she answered. Without saying another word, Carter carried Lucy to the bed. For the first time since admitting their love for each other, the two made love. And they lived happily ever after.  
  
****The End****   
  
  
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